there's just something about Mondays, isn't there? a supposed fresh new start that signals the start of the week. the day that screams, "READY OR NOT HERE I COME." a day that many dread and few embrace.

i think 'monday thoughts' will be a new weekly post on this blog; a way to write out all my weekend happenings, because this is the time where you find yourself finally able to go out late, sleep in if you want and just find a moment for yourself. life continuously churns and sometimes the weekends can feel as though time lazily stops for a few minutes or aggressively powers through quick, hazy afternoons.

today i'm stuck contemplating the feeling of growing up. it's a funny thing because at 18 you're considered an adult, or at least here in the United States. this is usually around the time that you find yourself graduating from high school and going away to college.

you move from a structured, educational system, teachers still coddling students, offering extra credit assignments and distinctly telling you what to do to a more liberal environment; one where you're not explicitly told what to do, but where you're the one expected to make your own choices and decisions.

looking back while i was at university i lived in a bubble; a warped version of reality where schoolwork entirely consumed you, but wasn't necessarily a true representation of the outside world. you still didn't get the opportunity to firmly stand your ground in the "real world" and know what was coming upon graduating.

it's not until you do your 4 years, obtain your degree, apply for jobs, and start working that you realize it's all been a bit of pretend. i graduated in May and it's been about 8 months so far of working full-time and moving back home.

i feel as though it's taken this long for me to realize how the "real world" truly functions. adulting is hard. when you're young all you want to do is grow up and become an adult, a magical age where you automatically reach maturity and are able to properly sustain yourself.

but life isn't that easy. you have to work, work extremely hard, to reach your goals- even the small ones. i'm still young, i'm only 23, going on 24 pretty soon, and sometimes i look around and think is this it? it would be easy to think that way.

yet, there is still so much to do and experience. as time continues to pass, the more i find myself becoming my own person, leaving major life events behind, like graduating high school or college, and developing more of my own values and outlook on life.

i don't want to confine myself to certain time regulations, i.e. "by age 30 i need to have this or be here in my life." but i do want to come into a more defined version of myself, someone sure in what she wants and want she likes. someone who can support herself and help her family. a young woman with a solid group of friends and a long list of things she has yet to do.